Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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