its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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