Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
