the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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