I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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