Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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