i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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