just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
