just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
