is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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