He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
