Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
