i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
