I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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