Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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