i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
