the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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