If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
