O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
