i wish there were pregnant emoticons
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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