Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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