my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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