I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
they're like a gay fantastic four
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
