I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
