it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
