so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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