You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
