The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
