Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
