Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
