I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
