absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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