He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
