Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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