walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
So vagazzling was a success
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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