I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
