never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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