I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
