please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
