DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
