doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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