you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
