Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize