Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
