The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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