I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You are the jesus of drinking
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
FUCK WHALES
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
