I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
3pm strippers are depressing
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
