Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
