frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So vagazzling was a success
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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