Fuck appropriateness.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
