Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
